How To Fix Low Self-Esteem: 10 Tips To Be More Confident

Reframe Internal Criticism

That voice in your head, the one that calls you lazy, awkward, or not good enough, is not telling the full story. It likely formed years ago and got louder every time something went wrong.

Instead of accepting it as truth, start treating that voice like background noise. Notice it, question it, and counter it with facts, not feelings.

For example, if your mind says, “I always mess things up,” pause and tell yourself: “Always? Probably not.” The more you disrupt that pattern, the less power it holds.

Stop Tying Worth to Achievement

High-functioning adults with low self-esteem often work hard to “earn” their right to exist through performance, accolades, or others’ approval. But tying your worth to what you produce makes your confidence fragile. You are not a machine, and your humanity doesn’t disappear on a bad day.

Try shifting your self-talk from outcome-based thinking (eg. I’m only valuable if I succeed) to identity-based thinking (eg. I have value because I exist, even when I struggle). This switch supports healthier ambition and leaves room for compassion during mistakes.

Recognize How Depression and Stress Feed Doubt

Low self-esteem rarely exists in a vacuum. Depression can make you feel like a burden, like nothing you do matters. Stress can convince you that you're failing, simply because you're tired.

These emotional states distort how you view yourself, creating a cycle that reinforces shame and insecurity.

If you find yourself asking, “Why do I always feel like this?”, that may be a sign it’s time to get professional help. Therapy gives you the chance to unpack what’s fueling those feelings and replace them with new insight.

Get Honest About Comparison

One of the fastest ways to lower your self-esteem is to constantly compare your behind-the-scenes with someone else’s highlight reel. Whether it's friends, coworkers, or influencers, this kind of comparison never ends well. It skews your perspective and makes your progress feel invisible.

You fix this by reconnecting with your own values. What actually matters to you? What are you proud of that has nothing to do with competition? Confidence grows when you stop chasing someone else’s definition of success.

Use Mental Health and Awareness Services as Support, Not Shame

Asking for help isn’t weakness, it’s wisdom. Mental health and awareness services are designed to support people in reclaiming their sense of self, especially when confidence feels like a distant memory.

There’s no need to hit rock bottom before getting support. Low self-esteem is valid and worth dealing with, even if you’re functioning well on the outside.

Through therapy, many people discover that their insecurities make sense in the context of their past, and they can write a different story moving forward.

Practice Saying No

Low self-esteem often leads to people-pleasing. You might say yes to tasks, favors, or commitments you don’t want because you fear rejection or judgment. But every unnecessary yes chip away at your sense of control.

Start small. Say no when you’re too tired to take a call. Decline that invitation when you need alone time. Each time you honor your needs, you prove to yourself that your comfort matters too. That’s where real confidence starts to build.

Focus on Progress, Not Perfection

If you’re constantly setting impossible standards for yourself, you’re setting yourself up to fail. Perfectionism and low self-esteem often go hand in hand, especially for those who equate mistakes with shame. The truth is you don’t need to get everything right. You only need to show up and try.

Instead of asking, “Did I do this perfectly?” Ask, “Did I grow from this?” Every honest attempt builds confidence. Every moment of self-forgiveness breaks the old narrative.

Explore Self Esteem Therapy

Therapy is not about being fixed. It’s about being heard. Self-esteem therapy offers a structured way to untangle the beliefs you’ve carried for years. These could be beliefs that might have come from childhood, relationships, or cultural pressure.

Through regular sessions, you can begin to explore the root of your self-doubt and experiment with new ways of thinking.

Many therapists use cognitive behavioral techniques, mindfulness work, or somatic awareness to help reshape internal patterns. What works best depends on you, but having a guide makes the path far less lonely.

Build Boundaries that Reflect Self-Respect

When you believe you have little value, you may tolerate behavior that leaves you depleted. People may overstep your boundaries simply because you haven’t been taught to hold them. Reclaiming self-worth starts with setting limits: emotional, physical, time-based, or conversational.

You can begin by asking, “What makes me feel resentful?” That’s often a sign a boundary has been crossed. Practicing boundaries is not about pushing people away. It’s about letting the right people come closer, on terms that honor you.

Celebrate Quiet Wins

You don’t need a dramatic life overhaul to build confidence. Even something as small as making your bed, going for a walk, or finishing a project deserves recognition. Acknowledging these quiet wins reminds you that you’re already capable.

When you slow down enough to notice your efforts, your inner dialogue begins to shift from judgment to support. That’s the goal; not to inflate your ego, but to ground your self-worth in lived experience, not fantasy.

The Howard Center for Wellness Can Help

The Howard Center for Wellness specializes in helping people reconnect with who they are underneath all the doubt. If you’ve been wondering how to fix low self-esteem, we offer thoughtful and personalized support through self-esteem therapy and other mental health and awareness services.

Our team knows the many layers that shape how you feel about yourself, like stress, depression, and past experiences. We meet you exactly where you are.

Our approach is warm, steady, and deeply human. You deserve to be seen, not just as someone struggling, but as someone growing. Reach out to us to begin that journey, we’d love to walk alongside you.